Fashion Police
by Giesbrecht
Summary: From Torment of Tantalus to Memento Mori, Daniel's personal style has changed a lot. What we don't know is, it's all Sam's fault. Genfic


**Fashion Police**

—by Giesbrecht—

_Author's Note: At the 2006 Chicago Stargate Convention, Michael Shanks confirmed a suspicion I'd had for a long time: it was Hathor—or at least her minions—who cut Daniel's hair._

Daniel never figured out why, but Sam had a habit of interfering with his personal grooming. The most she ever did for Jack was tuck a shirt label back in, once, and there was the time she helped Teal'c pick out a jacket. But with Daniel, she kept finding reasons to bother him.

The first time was right before Senator Kinsey dropped by for the first time. They'd got some advance warning for it, and as they waited for their guest, Sam kept stealing glances at Daniel. When he finally caught her doing it and inquired as to what was wrong, she said, "Nothing." Jack noticed too, and with the added pressure, Sam gave in and declared that Daniel's part wasn't straight.

"What?" said Jack and Daniel together.

"Sorry, it's just… it bothers me."

Daniel wasn't quite sure what happened next, only that it involved a comb and some very intense scrutiny, and that by the time Kinsey walked in, his part was different.

The next time was after they saved the planet from Apophis and Klorel. Hammond invited them out to dinner at an upscale restaurant, along with some of the other SGC personnel. Daniel's car was in the shop, and as Sam lived closer than Jack, she went to pick him up. A few minutes after she arrived, Daniel noticed that Sam was giving him a critical look.

"What?"

"Um, well, you know, that shirt doesn't really go with that suit," said Sam.

Daniel looked down. He failed to see the problem. Blue went with blue, didn't it? But fifteen minutes later the contents of his closet were disgorged across his bed, and he was wearing both a different shirt and a different suit.

For his birthday, she bought him clothes.

When they ended up in 1969 and it came to blending in with the locals, Daniel refused to pick out his own costume, declaring that Sam had already established herself as the superior in such matters and ought to take responsibility as such. Which she gladly did. For Teal'c as well, actually, but not Jack, as he had his own ideas. (The minute he encountered the leather coat, they were inseperable.)

On one hand, Daniel teased Sam for taking such an interest. On the other hand, he had to admit, it was nice to get the attention.

Shortly after the death of Hathor, Sam came into Daniel's lab one morning after he'd pulled yet another all-nighter, this time because of some scrolls brought back by SG-5. Daniel nearly hit the ceiling when she came in: he'd had enough caffeine to power up the Stargate itself. Sam grinned as he collected the notes he'd knocked to the floor. Calming himself, Daniel ran both hands through his newly-cropped hair, causing it to stand on end.

"You know, there's something that's been bothering me lately," said Sam conversationally, watching him.

"What's that?" said Daniel, not really paying attention.

"When did you get your hair cut?"

Daniel looked up warily. "What?"

"Your hair," said Sam. "I may not remember what happened when we went through the Gate and got captured by Hathor, but I distinctly remember being in the Gateroom beforehand, and I would swear your hair was still long. But when the Colonel and I got to you in Hathor's complex, it was short."

"Um..." Daniel considered his options. They weren't many. "Actually, to be honest, I don't remember getting it cut either." Sam looked incredulous. "I didn't even realize it at first, but it's like I woke up, and it was gone."

Sam thought about this for a moment, giving Daniel a series of looks, each intended to begin a different line of inquiry that never made it out. Eventually she went for the obvious, "Are you trying to tell me that _Hathor_ cut your hair?"

Daniel could feel the heat creeping into his face. The less said, the better. "I have no idea," he said shortly. "All I know is that it's gone, and I don't remember when. It's not exactly a comforting thought. Rather disturbing, actually." He sighed, and started sifting through the scrolls again. "The worst part is trying not to imagine what else Hathor might have been up to while we were unconscious. According to Hammond, we were out for three weeks."

Sam nodded, looking as bothered as he felt. She'd probably been thinking the same thing.

"And, of course, it'll take months to grow it back out again."

At that Sam gave him one of her appraising looks. Daniel felt a squirm of doom. "I don't know," said Sam. "It's not bad."

The doom worsened.

"Maybe with a little gel, or..."

Daniel tried to protest. He really did. But try as he might (tired as he was, and unsteady from the caffeine binge), Sam dragged him to her office, where she produced from one of those myriad little drawers where she kept odds and ends like the debris of a science-fiction movie a little bottle of gel and a comb. At the sight of them, Daniel gave up. He sat quietly while Sam combed his hair about thirty different ways before putting the gel in and finishing off with her hands. Then she stood back and smiled.

"There," she said. "Much better."

Daniel gave her a skeptical look.

But then Sam produced a mirror. "See for yourself."

Daniel turned his head left and right, inspecting Sam's handiwork as well has he might in a little hand-mirror. He wasn't entirely sure what to say. It looked different; how a cut that short could look different with any amount of ministration he had no clue, but it _was_ different and suited him better. The last few days had been a weird experience, greeting a total stranger in his bathroom mirror. For the first time, he actually liked what he saw.

"Wow."

"Like it?" said Sam, grinning.

"Uh, yeah. Yes, actually." He marvelled at the wonders of women who could do such astonishing things with a piece of plastic and a concoction of unpronouncable chemicals. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The rest of that day, Daniel got three seperate compliments from various female staff. It was a completely new experience, and the last one led to a foolish grin that got him a few good jibes from Jack. Daniel didn't care. He merely shrugged, and made a mental note to leave chocolate in Sam's office when she wasn't looking. Though he never gave her the satisfaction of knowing that the next few mornings, after a shower, he spent a good twenty or thirty minutes trying to figure out exactly what she'd done to make his hair look like that. (When he did, he was amazed at how happy it made him.)

It was a year later when Jack, Sam, and Teal'c were stuck on a planet for two weeks because the SGC's usual Stargate had found its way to the bottom of the ocean. Once home, Sam had her hair cut very short in an attempt to undo the damage wrought by harsh environmental conditions and a lack of conditioner. Then she made the mistake of moaning about it in Daniel's presence.

"At least you know when it got cut," said Daniel.

Sam gave him a dirty look.

"And women are always changing their hair, aren't they?" he pointed out. "Look at it this way: It's an opportunity to try a new style. Who knows? You might like it."

"You're not gonna give me any sympathy, are you?" said Sam.

"Nope."

The next day, there was Kool-aid in his shampoo. It didn't come out for a week.


End file.
